November 2012 - Cara Mason

29.11.12

Artist Statement

DBT in BPD (mediated painting, 21.5”x24”, 2012) is a series consisting of three different mediums of work; oil painting, video, and glass etching. The individual pieces work both independently, as well as as a whole. By using three separate works to create a single piece I am exploring how one piece can effect and manipulate another.

After being misdiagnosed with Major Depression and Anxiety Disorder for 6 years I learned that I had been destroying my mental state with anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication that I had been prescribed for conditions I did not actually have. I was correctly diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and started getting treatment in the form of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. This process involves having to accept that many of my past actions and memories were events that were not under my control, and rather an effect of improper medication, and an undiagnosed illness. The work references self-reflection and gestures of inward thought and experience. The layering of works further represents the feeling of slippage and the confusion often involved in dealing with mental health issues. The feeling of anxiety versus calmness and the struggle I often have in balancing the two is an important theme in this work.

The painting is a larger than life self-portrait that works to create an intimate understanding of an emotional, scientific, and mental experience that cannot be seen by the eye. The close-up image of a face with closed eyes suggests a sense of looking inward, self-reflection, and specifically DBT’s basis for treatment; mindfulness.

The video is a minute long shot of my face, close up and projected onto the painted representation of my face, existing at the same scale as the video. The video depicts my eyes opening and closing, while the painting depicts them as closed By projecting moving video onto a nearly identical still painting, I work to give a painting movement, and a video stillness. The two play back and forth with each other, sometimes lining up, sometimes creating a glow, and others revealing it to be completely different like when the videos eyes are open. This experience creates a dynamic third space by bringing together two forms of representation which blur and transform each other’s spatial and material boundaries.

Placed between the projection and the painting is a piece of plexiglass etched with a dodecahedron and an icosahedron. These two platonic solids are dual pairs and can be constructed by connecting the centers of adjacent faces. When the video is projected through the glass it casts the shadow of the platonic solids onto the painting, disrupting the video as well as the painting. This gesture suggests that there is something mechanical at play, and reinforces the lines of the video and painting.

The combination of these three pieces tell a story, and allow the viewer a synthesized understanding of an otherwise inward and personal experience.